Are you financial soulmates? Try these date night challenges

Aug. 20, 2021 • 7 min read

Chit‐chatting about checking accounts and brokerage balances may not be your favorite topic of conversation or something you’ve ever really considered discussing. If so, you aren’t alone: Only 35% of those in relationships don’t consider it to be “financially open.” As your ally for all things life and money, we’re here to help you break the ice and spark up some essential financial convos — in a fun, relaxed and open way.

We’ve curated a series of three date nights with the perfect prompts to get you and your partner in the mood … to talk through your  financial goals  and beliefs. Whether you decide to knock em’ out in one mega‐date or split them up over time, these flexible and fun challenges can work with any schedule you and yours have in mind. Getting on the same page financially can open up a future of increased confidence, motivation, organization and happiness.

So forget the flip‐flopping over what to do for your next date. Order in your favorites, throw on some tunes and grab your boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé or spouse and a bottle of red (or white, if that’s more your style). It’s time to kick off your financially open future with these date night adventures.

Skip the board game and put that deck of cards back on the shelf. This game night is all about getting to know each other’s lifestyle aspirations and money goals with a financially feisty round of “Would You Rather?”

Over plates of pasta or your favorite burrito you and your partner will take a deep dive into each other’s spending habits. While you may already have a pretty good idea of who’s the saver or spender between the pair of you, this exercise will help you lay your cards on the table to reveal how much (or how little) each of you are willing to shell out for all kinds of items and experiences. While it might feel a little strange to talk about your finances at times, around 63% of couples say they wish they’d had more insight into their partner’s money habits early on.

When it comes to spending, splurging and saving, we all have our priorities. And while it’s okay (and normal) for you and your amour to differ on what you think things are worth, knowing what to expect and being in the same ballpark can make financial decisions more breezy.

Did you find yourself leaning toward a super saver while your S.O. is more of a big spender?  Or maybe you both fall somewhere in between? At the end of the day, you don’t have to be perfectly aligned in all your financial tendencies. Instead, the key is being open and honest about your habits and beliefs so you can navigate your similarities and differences with confidence and compassion.

If you do find your spending and saving tolerances look different, take some time to discuss how you can reconcile those discrepancies in various areas of your life. Especially if you choose to combine finances, you’ll want to both feel good about how your money is being used. For example, you might find that pooling money for joint needs — like food or home-related things — and keeping some cash separate for personal spending — things like clothes or entertainment — allows you to have financial freedom while still working toward shared goals.

This date is all about feeling your most content, and you’ve heard it before: Money doesn’t buy happiness. Sure, it can buy you things or experiences, but at the end of the day, more cash (or more stuff) won’t bring lasting contentment. That’s where a happiness list comes in. It’s simple: a list of about 10 things, big or small, that bring you joy on a weekly basis.

Creating your happiness list can help you define what is valuable to you and what is most worth your time and money. By sharing it with your partner, you can better understand what will bring you long‐term joy together — and you may discover areas where spending less won’t feel like such a sacrifice. Look for areas of overlap where splurging is mutually embraced. For instance, if you both wrote that the smell of coffee brewing in the morning brings you happiness, then make preparing the coffee pot before bed a priority. For areas without overlap, use your lists as reminder that it’s okay for you or your partner to splurge on occasion—especially if your priorities and necessities are being covered. Melding your lists will help you get a better picture of what adds value to your lives and what isn’t worth your time, energy or money.

P.S. You can use your findings as the basis to plan your next date adventure!